8.25.2010
No school? I like the sound of that.
School is starting tomorrow. But not for me. This is a brand new thing. I don't think I've ever not been in school. Since I was 4. It's crazy. And I kind of like it.
8.17.2010
Worrier or warrior?
Lately, I've been a worrier. I don't know what my future holds, so I think about it. And I think some more. And it doesn't get me anywhere or gain me anything. Here's how Matthew puts it: Don't worry about missing out. You'll find all your everyday human concerns will be met. Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don't get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes (The Message).I like how he adds the part about not worrying about missing out. Because that's exactly what happens when you worry. You miss out on the beauty around you.
In his book I Don't See It That Way, Ken McFarland points out five truths about worry:
Truth #1: Worry never works. Worrying about the past doesn't change it. Worrying about the future can't make anything happen or not happen.
Truth #2: Worry paralyzes. Worrying about something makes us freeze and hone into that particular problem. So why not come up with solutions and take some action? Ol' Kenny says that "Action is worry's worst enemy." True dat.
Truth #3 (My favorite): Worry is a choice. Just like happiness. Just like love. We have to make a conscious decision not to worry. To hand everything over to God. To step out in faith onto the wildly amazing ride that He has planned for our lives.
Truth #4: Worry is the child of fear. Having peace of mind is the child of trust. When we internalize the promises that God has made to us - worry just slips out the back door. Promises like Jeremiah 29:11, 1 John 5:14, Psalm 55:22 tell us that God has our absolute best interests in mind. Just trust.
Truth #5: Worry is a hand shadow. A hand can cast a shadow on a wall many times its size. Likewise, worry can make things seem a lot bigger and scarier than they really are. I remember when I was younger being scared to death that there was something under my bed. I would hear a little creak from the house breathing or some other noise from my cat running around and become undeniably convinced that there was a person under my bed just waiting for me to fall asleep. So they could get me. So I would stay up and not move a muscle. Listening for any other little sound that they might make. I was too afraid to get up and run out because I thought they would grab my feet and pull me under the bed. I was too afraid to call out for help. I was too afraid to move. Eventually I would work up enough courage to jump out of bed, run to the other side of the room and turn the light on. Then I would look under the bed. No one. Nothing. Nada. How bo-bo.
So, I am making a decision. I don't want to be a worrier anymore.
I am a warrior.
What I like
1.) Minimalistic magazine spreads. Less really is more appealing.
2.) Portraits. Especially candid ones. Black and white, please.
3. Wood floors.
4. Apple chips
5. Scribbly drawings.
6. Mmmmmmmate.
7. Typography. Especially hand lettering.
8. Feet shoes. Yikers! :]
9. Architecture.
10. Dreadlocks.
11. Yarn and all crafty things pertaining to yarn.
12. Forts.
13. Mustaches.
14. Good ideas. New and fresh ways of thinking.
15. This. Great album. Great art. It doesn't get much better.
16. Nice hands.
17. Christmastime. Don't mess with Christmas.
18. The wash behind my house. A great place for thought, rotting citrus, graffiti, longboarding, and just an all around good time.
19. Velvet Elvis by Rob Bell. I'm not finished with it yet, but it's an awesome read. Ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-check it out.
2.jpg)
20. Drawing lines.
And the list goes on...
2.) Portraits. Especially candid ones. Black and white, please.
3. Wood floors.
4. Apple chips
5. Scribbly drawings.
6. Mmmmmmmate.
7. Typography. Especially hand lettering.
8. Feet shoes. Yikers! :]
9. Architecture.
10. Dreadlocks.
11. Yarn and all crafty things pertaining to yarn.
12. Forts.
13. Mustaches.
14. Good ideas. New and fresh ways of thinking.
15. This. Great album. Great art. It doesn't get much better.
16. Nice hands.
17. Christmastime. Don't mess with Christmas.
18. The wash behind my house. A great place for thought, rotting citrus, graffiti, longboarding, and just an all around good time.
19. Velvet Elvis by Rob Bell. I'm not finished with it yet, but it's an awesome read. Ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-check it out.
2.jpg)
20. Drawing lines.
And the list goes on...
8.02.2010
Fish tacos
I can say that I have been a vegetarian my whole life. Up until this point. I was just introduced into the delicious and almost unreal world of fish tacos. Oops.
8.01.2010
Oh, crap
I haven't written anything in a very long time. I guess that's what happens when I get busy, I neglect the things that I like to do in order to do the things that i 'have' to do. I can really tell that God has been actively working in my life this summer. I must admit, the beginning of the summer was rough. But I cannot say enough times how good God is. First, a camp story.
It was Adventure week. These girls were hard work. Ten girls from completely different backgrounds - some very broken ones. How can we live in a world where seven and eight years old girls are being neglected and sexually abused? These girls are princesses. Daughters of God. It especially broke my heart when one of my campers started complaining about jeans making her butt look big. What are these girls hearing through the media and from their parents? Not only was this little girl very petite, but she was in fact, very beautiful. And yet she didn't think so. Eight years old.
Disclaimer: This is a poop story.
And then there was Kendra. She had hair cut like a boy, a big goofy smile, and a very smelly problem. This girl was a mess. She was always rolling around in the dirt and mixing her chocolate pudding with cheese. Or ketchup. Or cottage cheese. Whichever tickled her fancy. She was in her own world. All week I was running to the bathroom with this girl only to find out that most times, the damage had already been done. Or sometimes we would be sitting at camp fire when all of a sudden my nose would receive a scent that was all too familiar. Oh, crap. So I would have to get up with Kendra and take her to the bathroom and get her cleaned up. Over and over and over again.
Interjection - the absolute funniest moment of the week was when I was heading back to line call with her after a successful backroom run. Kendra was in her own world, per usual. I was watching her wander aimless around singing to herself. I noticed that she was about to walk right into a parked car. I just let nature take it's course and was pleasantly amused from her startled reaction. I really needed a good laugh after all the literal crap that she had put me through.
Back to my story...The funny thing about Kendra was that she never admitted that she had had an accident. Even though it was blatantly obvious. She would fight and deny and kick and scream.
I never thought that my job description as a counselor would include dirty diaper duty. But it did. Six times. And even though I didn't exactly love the mess that this girl would make, I loved her. Kind of reminds me of how we are as humans in our sins. We mess up big time and we know it. We stink and we're gross. Just sitting in our own mess. And yet we don't want to admit it. Ever. We don't want to fess up to our nastiness. But God has made it so simple. All we have to do is ask and God will clean us. And even if we mess up again, He'll still clean us. Talk about amazing grace!
"Come. Sit down. Let's argue this out. This is God's Message: If your sins are blood-red, they'll be snow-white. If they're red like crimson, they'll be like wool." Isaiah 1:18 - The Message
"If we claim that we're free of sin, we're only fooling ourselves. A claim like that is errant nonsense. On the other hand, if we admit our sins—make a clean breast of them—he won't let us down; he'll be true to himself. He'll forgive our sins and purge us of all wrongdoing. If we claim that we've never sinned, we out-and-out contradict God—make a liar out of him. A claim like that only shows off our ignorance of God." 1 John 1:8-10 - The Message
It was Adventure week. These girls were hard work. Ten girls from completely different backgrounds - some very broken ones. How can we live in a world where seven and eight years old girls are being neglected and sexually abused? These girls are princesses. Daughters of God. It especially broke my heart when one of my campers started complaining about jeans making her butt look big. What are these girls hearing through the media and from their parents? Not only was this little girl very petite, but she was in fact, very beautiful. And yet she didn't think so. Eight years old.
Disclaimer: This is a poop story.
And then there was Kendra. She had hair cut like a boy, a big goofy smile, and a very smelly problem. This girl was a mess. She was always rolling around in the dirt and mixing her chocolate pudding with cheese. Or ketchup. Or cottage cheese. Whichever tickled her fancy. She was in her own world. All week I was running to the bathroom with this girl only to find out that most times, the damage had already been done. Or sometimes we would be sitting at camp fire when all of a sudden my nose would receive a scent that was all too familiar. Oh, crap. So I would have to get up with Kendra and take her to the bathroom and get her cleaned up. Over and over and over again.
Interjection - the absolute funniest moment of the week was when I was heading back to line call with her after a successful backroom run. Kendra was in her own world, per usual. I was watching her wander aimless around singing to herself. I noticed that she was about to walk right into a parked car. I just let nature take it's course and was pleasantly amused from her startled reaction. I really needed a good laugh after all the literal crap that she had put me through.
Back to my story...The funny thing about Kendra was that she never admitted that she had had an accident. Even though it was blatantly obvious. She would fight and deny and kick and scream.
I never thought that my job description as a counselor would include dirty diaper duty. But it did. Six times. And even though I didn't exactly love the mess that this girl would make, I loved her. Kind of reminds me of how we are as humans in our sins. We mess up big time and we know it. We stink and we're gross. Just sitting in our own mess. And yet we don't want to admit it. Ever. We don't want to fess up to our nastiness. But God has made it so simple. All we have to do is ask and God will clean us. And even if we mess up again, He'll still clean us. Talk about amazing grace!
"Come. Sit down. Let's argue this out. This is God's Message: If your sins are blood-red, they'll be snow-white. If they're red like crimson, they'll be like wool." Isaiah 1:18 - The Message
"If we claim that we're free of sin, we're only fooling ourselves. A claim like that is errant nonsense. On the other hand, if we admit our sins—make a clean breast of them—he won't let us down; he'll be true to himself. He'll forgive our sins and purge us of all wrongdoing. If we claim that we've never sinned, we out-and-out contradict God—make a liar out of him. A claim like that only shows off our ignorance of God." 1 John 1:8-10 - The Message
6.23.2010
Yavapines
It's dry here. My heels are cracked beyond belief. The cracks have become filled with dirt. My feet are always dirty. The cabins are cinder block. My mattress sags. I get to sleep outside, though. Because there isn't enough room for me in the cabin. The people here are amazing. I feel at home.
Last night I kept waking up. I had no idea where I was. It was scary. I also had an dream that my little sister Emma died. And it was my fault. In my dream I couldn't stop crying. It was the worst feeling ever.
So far this week has just been preparation for the campers to arrive. It's pretty chill. Lots of volleyball! I gave this guy dreads. I've cleaned a lot of bathrooms.
I helped with the Earliteens during campmeeting. It was such a blessing to see God working in the lives of the kids throughout the week. The theme for the week was 'Jesus on the Streets' and so the kids were learning about how to take Jesus and make Him real in the real world. At the end of the week on Sabbath we took the kids to downtown Prescott and they stopped people on the streets asking to pray with them. It was really interesting to see the reactions of some people. It was like they were ashamed of the very mention of God's name. Or prayer. They all had excuses. "We're late for a birthday party" "Oh, I'm meeting someone right now" "I don't want to" "I don't need prayer" No one wanted to have anything to do with us. Except for one man. He was a homeless man named Jerry. He was obviously hung over. He was dirty. But the kids took an immediate liking to him. I stood back in shock as they took complete initiative to witness to this man. They crowded around him on a bench and told him that Jesus loved him. No matter what he had done. He could never go to far from God's love and forgiveness. Then it hit me. These kids got it. These same kids who I thought weren't paying attention. These same kids who were always goofing off in class. They were sharing the plan of salvation with this homeless man. Tears found their way to my eyes and I was immensely thankful for my sunglasses.
Now I know why Jesus said that the kingdom of heaven belongs to the little children (or earliteens, in this case). They weren't passing any judgment on this man. They didn't care that the people walking by were staring and making remarks. They just wanted to share Jesus. One of the boys in my group gave Jerry his Bible. After we got back to the parking lot he prayed a beautiful prayer that Jerry would read the Bible and come into a personal relationship with Jesus. I hope we see Jerry in heaven.
Last night I kept waking up. I had no idea where I was. It was scary. I also had an dream that my little sister Emma died. And it was my fault. In my dream I couldn't stop crying. It was the worst feeling ever.
So far this week has just been preparation for the campers to arrive. It's pretty chill. Lots of volleyball! I gave this guy dreads. I've cleaned a lot of bathrooms.
I helped with the Earliteens during campmeeting. It was such a blessing to see God working in the lives of the kids throughout the week. The theme for the week was 'Jesus on the Streets' and so the kids were learning about how to take Jesus and make Him real in the real world. At the end of the week on Sabbath we took the kids to downtown Prescott and they stopped people on the streets asking to pray with them. It was really interesting to see the reactions of some people. It was like they were ashamed of the very mention of God's name. Or prayer. They all had excuses. "We're late for a birthday party" "Oh, I'm meeting someone right now" "I don't want to" "I don't need prayer" No one wanted to have anything to do with us. Except for one man. He was a homeless man named Jerry. He was obviously hung over. He was dirty. But the kids took an immediate liking to him. I stood back in shock as they took complete initiative to witness to this man. They crowded around him on a bench and told him that Jesus loved him. No matter what he had done. He could never go to far from God's love and forgiveness. Then it hit me. These kids got it. These same kids who I thought weren't paying attention. These same kids who were always goofing off in class. They were sharing the plan of salvation with this homeless man. Tears found their way to my eyes and I was immensely thankful for my sunglasses.
Now I know why Jesus said that the kingdom of heaven belongs to the little children (or earliteens, in this case). They weren't passing any judgment on this man. They didn't care that the people walking by were staring and making remarks. They just wanted to share Jesus. One of the boys in my group gave Jerry his Bible. After we got back to the parking lot he prayed a beautiful prayer that Jerry would read the Bible and come into a personal relationship with Jesus. I hope we see Jerry in heaven.
6.06.2010
God and dreads
Last night I watched some videos on YouTube of people taking out their dreads. When it comes to dread removal, there are two ways to go - the 'comb out' or the 'cut out'. Both are difficult for different reasons. The comb out method is rather painful and very time consuming. You also lose a lot of hair. This girl at Rock Creek complimented me on my dreads, telling me that she used to sport the do herself. She decided to comb hers out after 3 years and said it took over an hour per dread. So there's that. The cut out method leaves you with very little tangles and knots to deal with, but also with very little hair. I have always wondered what I would look like with short hair, though.
It was so crazy to watch some of these people with their various dread tales. Some had had dreads for over 5 years. And then 60 seconds later, they were all gone. Their whole appearance had changed completely. I was thinking today: Maybe our spiritual lives are kind of like that. If invited, God comes in with His super-duty scissors and cuts off all of the heavy dreads that we've carried around with us for years and years. There is a noticeable change. The people around can definitely see that He's been at work.
But this haircut isn't just a one-time-fix-and-everything-stays-peachy haircut. If we don't do anything to take care of ourselves (if we use the 'neglect' dreading method), our hair gets tangled and knotted again. Little baby dreads start to form. Slowly they'll start to knot and lock up once again. Maintain that daily relationship and that all-the-time connection with God. It's so important.
It's been over a year and a half since I've had a haircut. And a couple days since I've washed my hair. I really like my dreads, but I think they might have to go soon. I don't really want to stand out even more than I know I already will next year in Peru. It was pretty cool to do something completely different. And soon it will be time to do something else, once again, completely different. I guess that's just how I like things. Gotta keep it fresh. Change is good. Change is needed.
It's just hair. Sheesh.
It was so crazy to watch some of these people with their various dread tales. Some had had dreads for over 5 years. And then 60 seconds later, they were all gone. Their whole appearance had changed completely. I was thinking today: Maybe our spiritual lives are kind of like that. If invited, God comes in with His super-duty scissors and cuts off all of the heavy dreads that we've carried around with us for years and years. There is a noticeable change. The people around can definitely see that He's been at work.
But this haircut isn't just a one-time-fix-and-everything-stays-peachy haircut. If we don't do anything to take care of ourselves (if we use the 'neglect' dreading method), our hair gets tangled and knotted again. Little baby dreads start to form. Slowly they'll start to knot and lock up once again. Maintain that daily relationship and that all-the-time connection with God. It's so important.
It's been over a year and a half since I've had a haircut. And a couple days since I've washed my hair. I really like my dreads, but I think they might have to go soon. I don't really want to stand out even more than I know I already will next year in Peru. It was pretty cool to do something completely different. And soon it will be time to do something else, once again, completely different. I guess that's just how I like things. Gotta keep it fresh. Change is good. Change is needed.
It's just hair. Sheesh.
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