Hot dawwwwwg

I've recently picked up the new job of dog feeder. The job would seem simple enough. Give 3 cups of food to 3 dogs every morning. Yeah, it's easy. But add in the fact that all 3 of the dogs are completely dysfunctional and disobedient and you get to have yourself a little adventure every morning. So let me just tell you a little bit about these dogs.
There are three of them. Shaq, Pudi, and Centurion (more commonly known as Weasel-head.) They are all mentally challenged. Shaq, who I think looks more like a lion than a German Shepherd, never stops barking. And he doesn't have anything to bark at usually. But it's the same pitched bark over and over again. He throws his voice out like a broken record. Pudi is a sweetheart, but always jumps on me. And now that I give her food, she thinks that it's her job to follow me where ever I go. Including this morning when I was taking a shower. She was trying to push the door open and stared at me the whole time through the giant crack in the wood. She's also slightly cross eyed.
Finally, Weasel-head. I've never hated anything before that I can really remember. But I hate this dog. He doesn't listen to anything. Or anyone. And always whines. And always jumps on me and gets me all muddy. And he likes to bite hands. Stupid.
So every morning I take a deep breath and walk out to the dog house. I get trampled. But it's in love, I guess. I am giving them food. Aka I am giving them life. And so should obey me. But they don't. I guess it's a lot worse with us and God.
And I secretly like having a posse of huge dogs surrounding me wherever I go. It makes me feel pretty cool.