Heaven knows

I must start off by saying that I'm thankful for the Sabbath. I need rest. I'm also thankful that I'm not God. Yes, I know, Captain Obvious statement. But really. How often do I take matters into my own hands, thinking that I have a perfect handle on the situation? How often do I make decisions about important issues in my life on my own without consulting the One with the Master Plan? How often do I play God, trying to shape my life into something great? If I kept trying to play God, who knows what kind of hell I would create.
Next year I'm going to be a student missionary. God has just been so awesome - opening the right doors, closing the wrong ones, and giving me this incredible sense of peace throughout the whole deciding process. I feel called to go to Turkey. When I tell people that, many ask me what on earth made me decide to go there. The answer is simple. It wasn't me who decided. Because I know that on my own, it would've never crossed my mind to go there. But God knows where He wants me to go. And, at least what I believe, created a call that was perfect for me. Hanna Melara. My job description would be to home school two little kids ages 5 and 8, which is so cool because I love kids! But God just knew so much more. He not only wanted a home school teacher, but also a graphic designer! When I read call o
nline I almost thought my eyes were deceiving me. I had to read it a few more times just to make sure. I just can't get over how much I truly believe that God knows exactly where He wants each one of us. He says, If you're a carpenter, you can build me a church. An artist, I've got a job for you. You have a gift for hospitality? Great! I can use all of those things. That's why He gave us all different talents. Because He needs to use us all. We all have a purpose. A special calling.
I struggled with that a lot last year. What was my calling? What was I supposed to do for God? I believe that He gave me a passion for art. But I wrestled a
nd fought with that so much. I knew that I wanted to serve God with my whole life. But I didn't know how I could do that with art. I asked myself over and over, Am I being selfish for pursuing something that I love? How can I help people and introduce them to Him through something that I create? I thought so many times of switching my major. Nursing. Teaching. Those are the careers that actually help people. Not art. But after much prayer and talking with people I trusted, I decided that I can indeed use art and design to serve God. Why else would he have put that love for it in my soul?
Here's what it boils down to for me: God is the Master Artist. Just look outside. Look under the sea
. To the sky. Look at the trees. Flowers. Animals. And the crowning glory of all of His creation - us. There is NOWHERE you can turn your head in nature without seeing something beautiful. I want to learn from the best artist out there. And last time I checked, no one's got God beat.

God and other artists are always a little obscure. - Oscar Wilde



"Sisters don't need words. They have perfected a language of snarls and smiles and frowns and winks - expressions of shocked surprise and incredulity and disbelief. Sniffs and snorts and gasps and sighs - that can undermine any tale you're telling."
- Pam Brown


Numero uno

1) Through pain comes learning.
2) So, I guess I should be learning a whole lot these days.
3) Never leave your wallet at Panera.
4) Never think that just because someone turned in your wallet, that they didn't take all your cash.
5) Trying to fill up your cup with ice while filled with liquid is quite a feat. If you have this skill mastered, please, teach me your ways.
6) It's humorous how many foods have gone from my Hate list to my Love list. Some of which include coffee, sushi, and avocados.
7) Journaling soothes my soul.
8) Blind contour.
9) The guy sitting behind me has a binder filled to the brim with coupons. In their own laminated pouches. I'm all about saving money, but really? A binder? Just seems a little inconvenient to carry around. I'd love to go shopping with him someday.
10) I need to write my reading list for the summer.

Sidenote: A good friend once shared this quote with me:
"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter won't mind." - Dr. Seuss

When life gets a little overbearing I just think of this.
Because it's so true.


Eating lungs.

To say that I love walnuts would be an understatement. I think they are heaven-sent. Simply scrumptious. Especially the lung-shaped ones. The waitress at the restaurant gave me the strangest look when I just asked for a side of walnuts. Like I had stepped off of some sort of nut-crazed planet. Maybe it's because I am a nut. I think we all are in our own ways, and you know what? That's okay. Because I'd rather be a nut than something gross, like cottage cheese.


Has to be a first for everything...

Including blog entries.
And speeding tickets.
And car purchases.
And meeting new family members.
And going to bed before midnight?

- maybe not so much on that last one.

I had many flitting thoughts as I was driving. Good flitting ones. I wish I could journal and steer at the same time because my brain has some cool things to say. But I have a hard enough time staying in my own la
ne. Let's not add pens and paper. It takes me a good minute or two just to muster up enough hand-eye coordination to take one hand off the wheel to reach down and grab my sunglasses. And then to put them on? Oh, boy. That's another ordeal. By the time I got them on, the sun had gone behind some about-to-burst clouds and they had let loose their liquids. No need for the sunglasses. I did try driving with only one hand on the steering wheel. I know, such a dare-devil. But then when I almost swerved into a semi I decided it best to stick with two hands. At least I don't have to change up my driving habits for when I turn seventy. I'll just kick it old school now.

P.s. David Byrne + The Dirty Projectors = Mmmmm..