All crumpled up

If my life were represented by a piece of paper, it would have been pretty smooth. Maybe a few crinkles and a tear here or there, but for the most part - quality. Yesterday, I feel like I got all crumpled up. I know it's for the best, but it just hurts right now. I got a phone call from the organization sending me to Turkey saying that they were no longer sending me to Turkey. Just like that. In one phone call, everything you had been planning? Gone. The woman on the phone continued to happily babble to me about another homeschooling mission opportunity in the Philippines. In the jungle. A 3 hour hike from any sort of civilization. To live in a grass hut. With no running water or electricity. As I was trying to still process what she had just told me about not spending next year in Turkey, she asked me what I thought. About what? Oh yes, the Philippines. Well, to be honest, I hadn't been thinking about the Philippines. I had been trying to formulate some words. Any words. But none were coming out. She told me to think about it and get back to her as soon as I could because they're in the process of considering other people for this call. When I hung up the phone, I was still stunned. I went straight to my room to pray. And then called my dad and told him. He has a way of always being able to make me feel better. He just said it was all in God's hands and that He had a place just for me. I proceeded to go to the cafe, get a quick lunch, and then ate in Tiffany's room. She also, has a gift for making me feel better. I was kind of surprised that I was taking the news as well as I was. I hadn't cried. Nothing. The waterworks did come. In their own time. I turn into a slobbery mess when I cry. I can't talk. Only animal noises come out of my mouth. It's really great.
So now what, God? I don't know why this call didn't go through, but that can only mean that You have something better planned. I did really feel like You were calling me to Turkey, and maybe You were. Just not yet.
I'm back at square one now. The whole world needs to hear The Good News. The whole world needs help. Just put me where You want me and I will serve with my whole heart.